Tax The Fat

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Fat people should pay extra for goods and services in the form of taxes and surcharges.

When fat people fly, they should pay more to cover the fuel burden their fat asses cost the rest of us.

The taxes should go to help pay for roads and sidewalks, which fatties of course rarely use unless absolutely necessary,  because of the extra wear and tear.

Fat taxes should go to cover their obesee-as-hell health-related problems.

Fat girls in particular should pay a tax which should go in a fund to be used by men in need of psychological counseling after suffering the horror of being subjected to their disgusting appearance and, Allah-forbid it, a come on by a fattie. Ewwwwwwww.

Just think of the benefits to society! Fatties will find their extra poundage difficult to sustain and will (horror!) have to start cutting back at McDonald’s, Wendy’s, KFC, Chik-Fila, Cane’s, Carl’s Jr. (or Hardees), Dominoes, Papa John’s, Long John Silver’s, Taco Bell, Subway, Arby’s, Sonic, Burger King, Gold Star Chili, White Castle, Huddle House, Jack in the Box, Krystal, Dairy Queen, Fatburger (hahahahahaha!), Steak ‘n Shake, Waffle House, and Dunkin’ Donuts (just to name a few.)

Our costs will go down, and theirs will go up. We’ll be able to spend that saved money to do whatever we please, including traveling to lands far off where the women are thin and feminine, where they say things like, “What is hamburger?”, where they ask if there’s anything they can do for us after cooking, cleaning and giving us a ball-draining blowjob. We’ll be free from the fatties!

No more will we be shackled to their fat! They’ll have to, quite literally, pull their own weight.

Allah doesn’t want us to be a slaves to your fat, so get your fat ass off of us!! Let us be free to roam as a healthy and attractive Allah-loving/fearing men!!

Tax the Fat!!

Fatness and Self-Loathing

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The question I ask:

Why do people let themselves become fat?

Is it laziness? Apathy towards others? A brain disorder? Possessed by demons?
I’m not sure, but when I think of the times I’ve tried to convince infatfidels of losing weight I’ve noticed a pattern.

No matter how many times I would cite the advantages of regular exercise and losing weight -

Increased attractiveness to the opposite sex
Fewer health ailments, thereby saving hundreds of thousands in the long run
More energy
Stress relief

Fatties always would deliver excuses as to why they cannot change their diet or go to the gym.

“I get laid.” or “Guys still date me.”
“My health insurance comes with the job.” or “My health is fine.”
“The gym is too tiring.” or “I don’t have the time.”
“I’m not stressed at all.” or “Not accepting my weight is stressful!”

I’ve reached the following conclusion: Fat people must not like something about themselves. Their objections to losing weight are a denial of reality. The only reason people would deny, with total conviction, something easily demonstrable as the benefits of a healthy weight is to protect their self-esteem.

What are they protecting their self-esteem from?

Instead of facing the truth about their destructive lifestyle habits, infatfidels deny-rationalize away their fatness, much like a drug addict. And, like the addict, they avoid confronting how little they value themselves by focusing on the pleasure of eating food.

Therefore, the fatter a person is, the more they hate themselves. The cycle of self-destruction is ignore who they are or what they’ve become, so fatness is the addiction that helps one forget about being fat.

So I propose a different solution to pleasing Allah, and removing fat from America. In addition to fatness being shamed publicly, fatties should be consulted on an individual level in a way to boost their self-esteem into losing more weight.

That’s right.  There must be some kind of niceness to our jihad.  We must use encouragement-shaming.

For example, when talking to a friend, family, or, god forbid, lover, about their fat problem, encourage them to lose weight while condescending them:

“You deserve a better life.”
“There’s no reason to treat yourself like that.”
“You should feel happy with yourself.”
“Don’t let others think less of you.”

Notice the fatty is made more depressed about his/her condition while given the opportunity to redeem themselves by losing weight.  Encouragement-shaming is a devious psychological manipulation that works to make a person feel as if they could be superior provided they make sufficient changes to their behavior.

I’m convinced that public shaming combined with private encouragement-shaming would encourage millions of fatties everywhere to make changes to their lifestyle.

But until then, fat people will continue to hate themselves.

Fat Camp

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More fat apologizing from the New York Times. They describe how fat people pay $2,000 for a one-week fat fantasy camp so that people think they are trying their damnedest to lose weight. They think it will take just a few days for them to lose poundage, then they go back home and make up for lost time by eating more pizza and potato chips than ever.

The concept of work ethic in America has been lost.

New York Fat Apologist Times

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“It has always seemed strange to me,” says Proietto, who is a physician at the University of Melbourne. “These are people who are very motivated to lose weight, who achieve weight loss most of the time without too much trouble and yet, inevitably, gradually, they regain the weight.”

Fascinating! It’s almost as if the fat comes from the ether!

The New York Beta times has produced an article over 5,000 words that is nothing but fat apologist tripe. If the media teaches people that being fat is okay, how can we ever shame them into losing weight?

InFATdels, Meet Your New Friends Ana And Mia

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There is no God but Allah, blessed be His name, but when it comes to the inFATdels, I’m willing to compromise if it gets them to shed the blubber. Enter the phenomenon of “pro-ana”:

Pro-ana refers to the promotion of the eating disorder anorexia nervosa. It is often referred to simply as “ana” and is sometimes personified by anorexics as a girl named Ana. The lesser-used term pro-mia refers likewise to bulimia nervosa and is sometimes used interchangeably with pro-ana.

Pro-ana organizations differ widely in their stances. Most claim that they exist mainly as a non-judgmental environment for anorexics; a place to turn to, to discuss their illness, and to support those who choose to enter recovery. Others deny anorexia nervosa is a mental illness and claim instead that it is a “lifestyle choice” that should be respected by doctors and family.

Pro-ana websites and forums are dedicated to helping women lose weight and get sexy by providing dieting advice, tips on suppressing hunger pangs, and helping them deal with the resentment and disapproval of their fat friends and family members. They also “thinspire” girls by posting pictures of skinny, attractive women.

As a lover of petite, submissive women, I consider pro-ana to be a positive development. In a world in which the crushing bulk of fat girls has blotted out the sun, one ray of light has snuck past to illuminate the darkness. Naturally, Western governments, in thrall to the Fat Satan, are against it:

In the United Kingdom, 40 MPs signed an early day motion tabled in February 2008 by the Liberal Democrats member for Cheadle, Mark Hunter, urging government action against pro-ana sites. The motion was timed to coincide with the UK National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.

In April 2008, a bill outlawing material which “provokes a person to seek excessive thinness by encouraging prolonged restriction of nourishment” was tabled in the French National Assembly by UMP MP Valérie Boyer. It imposes a fine of €30,000 and two years imprisonment (rising to €45,000 and three years if there was a resulting death) on offenders. Health minister Roselyne Bachelot, arguing for the bill, stated that “giving young girls advice about how to lie to their doctors, telling them what kinds of food are easiest to vomit, encouraging them to torture themselves whenever they take any kind of food is not part of liberty of expression.” The bill passed the National Assembly, but stalled in the Senate, where a June 2008 report by the Committee of Social Affairs emphatically recommended against such legislation and instead suggested early-screening programs by schools and physicians.

This is disgusting. How dare these jealous swine try to intimidate girls who want to look good for their men! Fortunately, none of these pro-fatty measures have succeeded… yet.

So inFATdels, if you want us to stop taunting you, if you want to attract a man who doesn’t smell like B.O. and microwavable tacos, make Ana or Mia your new best friend. Neither one will let you down, steer you wrong, or hurt you. To those who will curse me for encouraging eating disorders, I say that being stick-skinny beats being fat by a long haul. On a 1-10 scale of male arousal, where 10 is a stainless steel, full-height erection and 1 is a soft thimble, the average emaciated runway model is a 4 while the average fat girl is a 5i. That’s right — fat chicks are so repulsive, so boner-killing that using imaginary numbers is the only way to quantify their attractiveness.

I’ll end this post with a thinspirational picture:

By the way, Alessandra Ambrosio is pregnant with her second child. All the “waifish” models you mock are either happily married to great men and having kids or close to it. Think about that as you sit in your apartment alone shoving Haagen-Dazs in your maw, fatties.

How To Prevent Fat Rape

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We have some reader mail from a Muslim:

I have a most pressing question for the Great Prophet:

I was studying at the library earlier today. I had to go outside to make a quick call, so I asked the person sitting next to me, without looking, if they can watch my laptop for me.

 

To my horror, the person next to me was this ugly women a fatter than a cape buffalo, covered in acne, with a disgusting, blubbery face. When I realized this, I had already asked, so I went to make the call and just hoped she didn’t try to eat my computer.

 

When I got back, I studiously avoided eye-contact with the beast,focusing on my laptop and pretended to be very busy. Unfortunately, not 5 minutes after I got back, it waddled over and said, in the worst deep fat-women voice imaginable, that she’s going to get coffee across the street and if I wanted anything. Holy shit, what have I done to deserve this, I thought, as I blurted out “no” and hoped the nightmare would go away.

 

Alas, it was not to be, as the fat women (despite my obvious disgust at her question) dropped her tote bag in the empty seat next to mine and asked me if I can watch her stuff until she comes back. As I realized that she was going to try to sit next to me, I was in full panic mode. I slammed the lid of my laptop shut, yelled that I have to leave right now, and flew out the door.

 

I was more-or-less running away from the library, and I felt more unclean than I had ever been in my life. Honestly, and I am not exaggerating, the entire experience is as if been raped by this monstrous excuse for a human being.

Even worse, for a while I wondered what was wrong with me that made the troll think she has a shot (although I banged this tight sophomore later that night, so it’s all good.)

 

How do I prevent this from ever happening again? If, despite my best efforts, this does happens again, how can I optimally express the full extent of my disgust without getting fat raped?

I shed many tears to Gabriel the Angel while reading your email. If the Prophet was alive today he would have included a verse in the Qur’an that goes something like this: “Do not interact with fat people at all unless you are exchanging goods or services.” Even in that case, I wonder how prudent it would be for the Muslim breathen to frequent shops or companies that regularly hire fat people.

My brother, you made a grave mistake when asking her to watch your property. It would have been better for it to be stolen than have that beast think she has a chance of making intercourse with you! Lesson learned for all eternity.

War on FAT

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From the Free Dictionary:

  1. Synonyms: fat, obese, corpulent, fleshy, portly, stout, pudgy, rotund, plump1, chubby
  2. Fat implies excessive weight and generally has negative connotations: was getting fat and decided to exercise.

So now that we have an adequate definition to work with, let’s start by looking at the negative connotations and why they’re warranted.

First of all, no matter how cute you think your face is, if you’re fat, you’re not cute. Fat and cute are mutually exclusive. If you’re fat, and a guy thinks that you’re cute, he thinks you’re cute in the same way that he thinks a baby piglet is cute. He doesn’t want to date, fuck or marry the piglet. Unless he’s really drunk, in a bad dry spell, there are NO other women available, or he has issues. Or all of the above. In other words, if you’re fat, obese, corpulent, fleshy, portly, stout, pudgy, rotund, plump, or chubby, you’re unattractive.

Secondly, if you’re fat, you’re not healthy, probably aren’t very flexible, and are a pain in the ass to have sex with, or do much else with for that matter. If a guy has to search for your vagina to have sex with you, you’re fat. If a guy is willing to search for your vagina in order to have sex with you, he’s got issues. If he’s willing to be crushed by you while you get atop him to ride with you, he’s got issues.

Thirdly, if you’re fat, it says a lot about the kind of person you are, in a negative way. Sure, your parents and family might be willing to look past the extra folds, the constant eating of nothing but Micky D’s, the extra large muffin top and bottom, but no self-respecting man can do this. If you don’t give a shit about your health and how you look, it means you’re not worthy of the time and respect of a real man. Deep down, this is how you feel, so this is how you treat yourself. You have no one but yourself to blame for this. No one is going to lose the weight for you. If you’re unwilling to put forth any effort to get in shape and watch what you eat, there’s something wrong with you. I won’t proclaim to know what is wrong with you specifically, but there’s something wrong. Trust me. Stop rationalizing and pretending that fat is in or that it’s okay to be obese. It’s not. When they have to get a piano box to bury you, it’s not okay. When you can’t fit into a standard airplane seat, it’s not okay. And it’s not attractive. Not at all. Never.

If you’re fat, what is it about you that makes you think you’re so special that you needn’t put in the extra effort to lose weight? Most of your reasons excuses for not getting in shape are just you telling yourself that you’re okay the way you are. You’re not. Being fat only makes you feel worse about yourself. You eat more, you feel sorry for yourself, then you feel bad, then you eat more. Repeat. Repeat. And yet somehow in there, you’re deluding yourself into thinking that this is okay? That you’re special somehow. It’s messed up. If you’d realize that you are not a special snowflake and that you really need to put in some effort to get in shape, you’d be better off.

And here’s a secret: If you’d get off your ass and exercise, watch what you eat and take a little bit of pride in your health, appearance, and body, you’d not only be happier, more men will take an interest in you. Or women, if that’s your thing.

Remember, if he’s really into you, and you’re fat, there’s something wrong with him. Even if he’s fat himself. Especially then.

Praise Allah and death to fatness.