The American pig female is a fearsome sight, yes… and this western disease is spreading like a plague, deforming even our most beautiful sisters into hideous beasts.
Last month when I arrived in America I came upon a cow woman for the first time in my life. I, Yusuk Madiq, stood frozen in horror as the land beast waddled from merchant to merchant; drinking a slurpee and shoveling kabobs and hummus down her throat faster than Saif al-Islam Gaddafi went from reformed dictator to war criminal.
Then, I watched a young boy ask her with great panache, “Lady… Are you pregnant?”
Oh, my friends… the look on her face was worth fifty of the best camels I tell you.
God (peace be with him) does many strange things. Why does the fat woman exist?
I thought hard on this question for many long days and nights. The answer always escaped me…
Then, one day God finally spoke to me. He said that he created the fat woman as punishment for all the evil sinners and unbelievers in the world. How could I not see it before? To love fat is blasphemy.
This glorious truth had been passed on to me. His message is clear:
“Make holy war on all fat women.”
Allah is akbar, but he works in most mysterious ways.
Go now my brothers. Learn from this boy and make fat girl jihad in all four corners of the world!