Lady, Are You Pregnant?

The American pig female is a fearsome sight, yes… and this western disease is spreading like a plague, deforming even our most beautiful sisters into hideous beasts.

Last month when I arrived in America I came upon a cow woman for the first time in my life. I, Yusuk Madiq, stood frozen in horror as the land beast waddled from merchant to merchant; drinking a slurpee and shoveling kabobs and hummus down her throat faster than Saif al-Islam Gaddafi went from reformed dictator to war criminal.

Then, I watched a young boy ask her with great panache, “Lady… Are you pregnant?”

Oh, my friends… the look on her face was worth fifty of the best camels I tell you.

God (peace be with him) does many strange things. Why does the fat woman exist?

I thought hard on this question for many long days and nights. The answer always escaped me…

Then, one day God finally spoke to me. He said that he created the fat woman as punishment for all the evil sinners and unbelievers in the world. How could I not see it before? To love fat is blasphemy.

This glorious truth had been passed on to me. His message is clear:

“Make holy war on all fat women.”

Allah is akbar, but he works in most mysterious ways.

Go now my brothers. Learn from this boy and make fat girl jihad in all four corners of the world!

14 thoughts on “Lady, Are You Pregnant?

  1. How does any of this help us guys bang? Its gonna make the femimists even angrier, more bitter, and more determined to destroy men. May even give them more fresh recruits.

  2. Usuk sounds like he needs to stop fapping that pencil dick of his and get his ass out and meet a girl of his dreams.

  3. @SuzyQ

    You slander a holy warrior as if you know him, yet I am assured, as the grass is green in spring time, you are a filthy and sorry excuse for a woman. Show respect to great men if you at all wish to be graced with their presence.

  4. SuzyQ, you will be punished for your sins against the will of God the most Merciful and Kind. For as written in 41.1.8 of the Hadith,

    “Stoning is in the Book of Allah for women who commit adultery, women who disrespect men, and women who eat forbidden numbers of donuts.”

  5. Stone SuzyQ ugly fat hoe to death. Nobody disrespects a Jihadist nd gets away with it. As for the sissy boys who never got laid, C-money and anon, I shall beat your ass into pulp until you swear allegiance to the holy war.

  6. Suzyq sounds like she´s having an insulin spike. Put down the doughnuts and quit flapping your gums; accept you´re a fat cow, jump on a treadmill and possibly with a bit of luck you can find a good beta provider! Moo!

  7. Pingback: “LADY, ARE YOU PREGNANT?”

  8. Anonymous up there: chubby chaser.

    We are doing the right thing, my brothers! You can tell by the hate. People only hate uncomfortable truths.

  9. Wa’ Sallam w’Allah w’ta’Allah, rahmatullah barakutulah,

    Al Hamd’uLillah, you have emerged from the shadows my Brothers, and together we will draw swords!

    Our mission here is meeting fierce resistance, but we are filled with glory as though Allah Himself is pouring us halal beer in the ninth heaven’s finest taverna for the shahid, right next door to Valhallal (our diviners tell us that renovations are planned, They will combine these two venues into a superclub for all martyred Brothers from every Holy War).

    We cannot disclose the location of our cell, but we have expanded our jihad to include all unwomanly incarnations of the Deceiver, and our mandate is to effect reformation or deliver a stunning death.

    May Praise be your cloak, and may your mission meet successes aplenty, God willing!

    Wa Salam.

  10. My brother, perhaps you could write a post on some simple ways to discourage women from becoming fat. For example, if all potato chip manufacturers were to use Pringles-style cans (Insha’Allah), when a woman becomes too fat, her hand will become too large to fit into the opening of the can, so she’ll have to stop eating chips. It’s a self-limiting junk food.

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