A Letter From My Brother

I was at my small farm home in my village one day, tending my goats and watching my beautiful, skinny woman dance before me.  It was a glorious occasion, Allah be praised. Glorious until I received this letter from my brother, that is.


Allahu Akbar.  May this letter find you in good health. I know it has not been long since I left you for America so that I could become a doctor, but I have troubling news.  It is the women here.  I first noticed something was wrong on my layover flight in New YorkOf course I grabbed a stewardess and demanded to know why a hippopotamus was being allowed air travel in the united states – as this breaks Allah’s holy law.  She informed me that this beast at which I was staring was not a hippopotamus, but was, in fact, an American woman.

I laughed bravely in her face, knowing such a thing could not be true.  I was wrong, my dearest Mahboob, I was so very wrong.  I could not believe my eyes, but I was staring at an actual American woman.  I thought, surely this was a one-off thing, they can’t all be this big.

They are all this big.

I am not sure what happened to my brother, as it has been months since I’ve heard from him.  There were jelly donut stains on the letter, and it stank of fattitude.  I have since sold my belongings, given up my goats, and packed my woman into checked luggage.  I shall go to America and fight this evil!  Provided the plane doesn’t crash from the ridiculous weight of the American women aboard it.

This entry was posted in Fat Satan, Fattitude, Jihad by Mahboob.

About Mahboob

Mahboob has been fighting the good fight against fat people ever since he moved to an American beach and noticed that the morbidly obese shop at victoria secret and wear skimpy beachwear without shame. He writes under his catholic name (it's like dual citizenship, but with religion) over at The Alpha Persona.

4 thoughts on “A Letter From My Brother

  1. Mahboob, my brother, God Bless you! I hope the hippopotamus fatties who frequent this blog realize how bad it is to be fat.


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