How To Prevent Fat Rape

We have some reader mail from a Muslim:

I have a most pressing question for the Great Prophet:

I was studying at the library earlier today. I had to go outside to make a quick call, so I asked the person sitting next to me, without looking, if they can watch my laptop for me.


To my horror, the person next to me was this ugly women a fatter than a cape buffalo, covered in acne, with a disgusting, blubbery face. When I realized this, I had already asked, so I went to make the call and just hoped she didn’t try to eat my computer.


When I got back, I studiously avoided eye-contact with the beast,focusing on my laptop and pretended to be very busy. Unfortunately, not 5 minutes after I got back, it waddled over and said, in the worst deep fat-women voice imaginable, that she’s going to get coffee across the street and if I wanted anything. Holy shit, what have I done to deserve this, I thought, as I blurted out “no” and hoped the nightmare would go away.


Alas, it was not to be, as the fat women (despite my obvious disgust at her question) dropped her tote bag in the empty seat next to mine and asked me if I can watch her stuff until she comes back. As I realized that she was going to try to sit next to me, I was in full panic mode. I slammed the lid of my laptop shut, yelled that I have to leave right now, and flew out the door.


I was more-or-less running away from the library, and I felt more unclean than I had ever been in my life. Honestly, and I am not exaggerating, the entire experience is as if been raped by this monstrous excuse for a human being.

Even worse, for a while I wondered what was wrong with me that made the troll think she has a shot (although I banged this tight sophomore later that night, so it’s all good.)


How do I prevent this from ever happening again? If, despite my best efforts, this does happens again, how can I optimally express the full extent of my disgust without getting fat raped?

I shed many tears to Gabriel the Angel while reading your email. If the Prophet was alive today he would have included a verse in the Qur’an that goes something like this: “Do not interact with fat people at all unless you are exchanging goods or services.” Even in that case, I wonder how prudent it would be for the Muslim breathen to frequent shops or companies that regularly hire fat people.

My brother, you made a grave mistake when asking her to watch your property. It would have been better for it to be stolen than have that beast think she has a chance of making intercourse with you! Lesson learned for all eternity.

13 thoughts on “How To Prevent Fat Rape


  2. Gotta love getting called an idiot by some one who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re. War on Muhammad

  3. How do you think it feels for a thin woman to be hit on by fat hambeast men? It makes them feel just like you…low, the nerve of the fat arse. I’m thin, and so is my thin friend who was hosting a dinner party for a friend who recently obtained US citizenship. In fact they asked her what she spends time doing and she replied that all she does is work and exercise, really she is intelligent too but she just doesn’t give herself credit – also two sons. Fat entitled women give themselves credit for being Einstein on a regular basis and mother of the universe. One of her sons has aspergers disease and the fat hambeasts, men and women, had to goad her into talking about her son’s illness, I guess feeling good that they don’t have that sort of problem. At the end of the evening the fat hambeast man came by and put his arm on her chair and got sort of close as he was saying goodbye, even her Austrailian-born boyfriend had to yell to her, “I think he wants to touch you.” Fat men are worse because they spend their time harassing all of the thin women to the point that there doesn’t seem to be any benefit for maintaining a figure…they will harass you in sweats and flipflops….Marathon hookers.

  4. May I also add that when the fat toxic arse left, she said, “The nerve of him….I need a beer.” Please, drink a beer with me and even though I thought she had too many drinks already and I was worried about her drive home, mind you I had already had two beers myself and had to drive almost an hour home, I gave in and had a beer with her because I know how she felt.

  5. you know your just putting this on here cause your a fat ass that wants to be skinny so your making fun of bigger people to make your self feel better

  6. Wow. You know I look over this and I laugh. Not because I find it humorous, but because so many of you are bigger assholes than people claim I am. I mean seriously. You cant find something else to pick on people about. What’s the problem. No longer politically correct to speak poorly of people because of their race, religion, etc. so you go on to the fact that they are overweight? Look I can already tell by reading that a large majority of your stories are bullshit. Incogwoman I would like to point out that both you and your friend are grade A pieces of trash. If someone expressed any kind of interest in her son’s illness I am willing to bet that it was out of sympathy, most people understand that talking about the hardships of life helps it seem less severe. Because when you talk about something it often gives the feeling that you are not facing it alone. Even if it is only venting to someone who is willing to listen. That is okay though. Keep your mentality. Live your shallow self centered life because honestly the way you are acting I would much rather you stay inside your house and die without having any more contact with the outside world than necessary, so if your fear of being around fat people does it then may everyone that lives in the same city as you develop an eating disorder and gain 200 pounds you worthless whore. 😀 Thank-you and have a nice day.

  7. Wow your a complete looser. Your hatred of women is understandable considering your religion. I pity you and you will be punished by GOD.

  8. I honestly couldn’t even say it is understandable, I think it is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard/seen whatever you want to call it.

  9. Hi ,first of all I Love Fat Girls … They are Fragile and You can Treat’em Like pets… Just feed’em . They Cry A lot … and also they Feel insecure and shy all the time . So in this world they are like the Weakest Human beings… And don’t get me wrong here i absolutely Love have them around me. I Always have a Good feeling about myself when i’m looking at em….. “THIS Feeling RIGHT HERE is what Guys Think Of When They are Around You Fat Girls” Please Share me Your thoughts With me

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