There is no God but Allah, blessed be His name, but when it comes to the inFATdels, I’m willing to compromise if it gets them to shed the blubber. Enter the phenomenon of “pro-ana”:
Pro-ana refers to the promotion of the eating disorder anorexia nervosa. It is often referred to simply as “ana” and is sometimes personified by anorexics as a girl named Ana. The lesser-used term pro-mia refers likewise to bulimia nervosa and is sometimes used interchangeably with pro-ana.
Pro-ana organizations differ widely in their stances. Most claim that they exist mainly as a non-judgmental environment for anorexics; a place to turn to, to discuss their illness, and to support those who choose to enter recovery. Others deny anorexia nervosa is a mental illness and claim instead that it is a “lifestyle choice” that should be respected by doctors and family.
Pro-ana websites and forums are dedicated to helping women lose weight and get sexy by providing dieting advice, tips on suppressing hunger pangs, and helping them deal with the resentment and disapproval of their fat friends and family members. They also “thinspire” girls by posting pictures of skinny, attractive women.
As a lover of petite, submissive women, I consider pro-ana to be a positive development. In a world in which the crushing bulk of fat girls has blotted out the sun, one ray of light has snuck past to illuminate the darkness. Naturally, Western governments, in thrall to the Fat Satan, are against it:
In the United Kingdom, 40 MPs signed an early day motion tabled in February 2008 by the Liberal Democrats member for Cheadle, Mark Hunter, urging government action against pro-ana sites. The motion was timed to coincide with the UK National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.
In April 2008, a bill outlawing material which “provokes a person to seek excessive thinness by encouraging prolonged restriction of nourishment” was tabled in the French National Assembly by UMP MP Valérie Boyer. It imposes a fine of €30,000 and two years imprisonment (rising to €45,000 and three years if there was a resulting death) on offenders. Health minister Roselyne Bachelot, arguing for the bill, stated that “giving young girls advice about how to lie to their doctors, telling them what kinds of food are easiest to vomit, encouraging them to torture themselves whenever they take any kind of food is not part of liberty of expression.” The bill passed the National Assembly, but stalled in the Senate, where a June 2008 report by the Committee of Social Affairs emphatically recommended against such legislation and instead suggested early-screening programs by schools and physicians.
This is disgusting. How dare these jealous swine try to intimidate girls who want to look good for their men! Fortunately, none of these pro-fatty measures have succeeded… yet.
So inFATdels, if you want us to stop taunting you, if you want to attract a man who doesn’t smell like B.O. and microwavable tacos, make Ana or Mia your new best friend. Neither one will let you down, steer you wrong, or hurt you. To those who will curse me for encouraging eating disorders, I say that being stick-skinny beats being fat by a long haul. On a 1-10 scale of male arousal, where 10 is a stainless steel, full-height erection and 1 is a soft thimble, the average emaciated runway model is a 4 while the average fat girl is a 5i. That’s right — fat chicks are so repulsive, so boner-killing that using imaginary numbers is the only way to quantify their attractiveness.
I’ll end this post with a thinspirational picture:
By the way, Alessandra Ambrosio is pregnant with her second child. All the “waifish” models you mock are either happily married to great men and having kids or close to it. Think about that as you sit in your apartment alone shoving Haagen-Dazs in your maw, fatties.