You Have A Holy Duty To Make Fat Girls Cry

Allahu akbar, my femininity-loving brothers.

As you all know, the reason why the plague of obesity and boorishness that afflicts American women even exists is because fat girls simply aren’t shamed enough. Every day I feel like Captain Ahab, surrounded by all these white whales. They tell me that “big is beautiful” and that they’d “rather be happy than skinny.” I try and explain to them that all the fat girls I’ve ever known were as happy as stroke victims (which is how a great many of them will end up in a few years), but I can only stand being within five feet of a fatty for so long before the sweat and smegma stench makes me retch. Point being that there’s not enough people kicking these butterballs in their exponentially expanding asses and embarrassing them into thinness.

But to hear the fatties say it, the occasional barb of cruelty they have to endure is just too much for them to bear. They have the chutzpah to claim that fat people are already harassed enough! Don’t believe me? See this pouty blog post:

Newsflash dude – there is not a fat person in this culture who hasn’t heard this before.  There are very few fat people who haven’t heard it in the last two hours.  We know what you think of us.  We are all too aware that you let your assumptions run wild and then treat us like your assumptions are true. We are aware that you think “Fat bad, thin good, shame the fatties grunt grunt grunt”. We hear this message about 386,170 times every year.  I’ve been fat for 17 years, which means I’ve heard it around 6,564,890 times.  How can you possibly think that hearing it 6,564,891 times is going to improve my life?  Are you also planning to win a land war in Russia?  Being 6,564,891 does not make you special or brave, it makes you one more doody in a big pile of crap.

Fatsos get shamed 386,170 times a year? That’s a total lie, but it’s still a pretty scientific-sounding number and probably took our flatulent heroine some time to come up with. Time she COULD have spent losing the weight and NOT having to be shamed for being obese ever again! Instead, she spent that time adding up a meaningless number like an Aspie kid counting tiles in the linoleum floor at Price Chopper. At least the Aspie has an excuse for being retarded.

Maybe you aren’t aware of this because you aren’t fat so you don’t notice.  Maybe you are aware and this is all an exercise to stroke your massive ego by being the person to save the fatty.  Or maybe it just makes you feel good to treat people like crap.  I don’t really care because bullying is inappropriate in any guise.   If someone is interested in hearing your “tough” talk I’m sure you’ll be among the very first people to know and then let ‘er rip, otherwise how about you sit down and shut up.

Or maybe we find you disgusting and we want you to stop polluting our line of sight, and deporting your diabetic bulk to a village in Africa isn’t an option. The eternal narcissism of the fatso on display again. “Rather than conform to the values of my society, I’m going to stomp my foot and scream and DEMAND everyone accept my dysfunctional behavior! Waaaah!”

Or you could swim against the stream and treat fat people like the intelligent human beings we are- not like confused sheep who need your strong guidance – and encourage others to do the same.  Let there be a fat person who only hears 386,169 messages about their body because you refused to pile on the shame and body hate.  That’s brave.

So damn intelligent you fat fucks are — so smart, you’ve ensured that you’ll suffer the rest of your life with chronic health problems and social ostracism, all because you can’t go on a diet and pick up a pair of barbells.

There. I hope that made you cry. Go stuff your face in a pint of Cherry Garcia, lardlog.

This is a reminder, my brothers — every day, you must go out of your way to make fat girls miserable and unhappy. Remind them that they’re ugly, that they’re going to die young, that you’d rather fuck a goat than accept a blowjob from one of them. If you haven’t made at least one fat girl a day squirt tears of unfathomable sadness, you have failed in your duty to God. Your quest for more beautiful, submissive American women begins today.

59 thoughts on “You Have A Holy Duty To Make Fat Girls Cry

  1. Pingback: READ MY FIRST POST AT FAT GIRL JIHAD: “YOU HAVE A HOLY DUTY TO MAKE FAT GIRLS CRY”

  2. If being fat prevents a skeevy, brainless bully like you from talking to me, I think I should reconsider my attempts to lose weight. I’m probably better off fat.

  3. Every literary bone in my body wants to believe that you, sir, are trying to be ironic in the vein of Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal.” And yet every literary muscle in my body that moves those bones is telling me that this falls so short of Swift’s skills that it is, in fact, a literary debacle, reduced to nothing more than internet trolling of the worst kind. If you truly believe a word of what you have written here, then you, sir, are little more than a troll under a bridge: something that is vaguely shaped like a man, and sometimes interacts with mankind, but ultimately is forced to live among its refuse and beneath its feet. May anyone who actually acts on this ill-crafted advice be cursed to a string of dependent, anorexic and bulimic girlfriends who lack the caloric energy to have interesting sex and then soon die of heart failure because of the strain they have put on their bodies from malnutrition; that would be reaping the fruits of making fat girls cry.

  4. How droll… a couple of self-inflated over-aged adolescents create a blogsite making fun of fat girls… For his next feat of internet derring doo, Ferdinand Bardamu will create a blogsite threatening to beat up school children if they don’t give him their lunch money.

  5. Too many Burly Butterballs infest the western world. Their painfully obivous attempts to show confidence through Fattitude has only made things worse. Fat-Apologists are the great satanic enablers of these demon-beasts

  6. A good site but there are more pressing problems such as false rape accusations, feminism, biased custody and alimony laws, anti-male media coverage, the sense of entitlement among American women and the like.

  7. LOL at the fatty defenders. Looks like I got under your (stretched, acne-ridden) skin.

    If being fat prevents a skeevy, brainless bully like you from talking to me, I think I should reconsider my attempts to lose weight. I’m probably better off fat.

    And you’ll also have heart problems, you won’t be able to climb a staircase without getting winded, and you’ll die long before any of us — but who cares? Surely that’s a price worth paying to ensure that some meanie won’t mock you…right?

    May anyone who actually acts on this ill-crafted advice be cursed to a string of dependent, anorexic and bulimic girlfriends who lack the caloric energy to have interesting sex and then soon die of heart failure because of the strain they have put on their bodies from malnutrition; that would be reaping the fruits of making fat girls cry.

    LMAO, this fattie thinks being thin = anorexic. Sorry, but the normal BMI has been established by medical science. You’re fat, not “curvy.”

    How droll… a couple of self-inflated over-aged adolescents create a blogsite making fun of fat girls…

    Somebody’s gotta do it.

  8. Sorry if I offend you in any weigh, shape, or form…

    I was big as a kid, and I’m big as an adult. But I am still Beautiful!

    Guys line up at the bar wanting to fuck me. Why would I lose a pound! I get to eat all I want, whenever I want, and I still get laid!!

  9. Every literary bone in my body

    don’t you mean ‘every big literary bone in my body’?

  10. Have you ever completed a triathlon?

    I have, at 5’2″ and 200lbs. And no, I didn’t come in last (not that it even fucking matters).

    You can go fuck yourself.

  11. Allahu Akbar Hadji Abdul Wahood Allahu Akbar!
    May the all-merciful Allah, exalted be his name, make you victorious over his and your enemies! May Allah, exalted be his name, give you 1000 huris in heaven!
    Allahu Akbar

  12. Allahu Akbar to my brothers

    A triathlon isn’t eating breakfast, lunch and dinner all in one sitting. So in reality, you have yet to complete a triathlon.

  13. um, no. try a 1.5 km swim, then about a 40 km ride, then a 10 km run. all in one go. complete that, then get back to me. go ahead, try it. in fact, i hope you get into it because all the hard work training for it and completing the race is the best fucking feeling in the world. then maybe if you know how much hard work goes into it you won’t be such a shithead.

    this just shows what you’re doing here is the equivilent of monkeys flinging poo at each other. i just hope that none of you ever have a fat daughter, or a wife who ends up gaining weight due to health issues, or a mother who does the same. because i can’t imagine how you treat the important women in your lives. you should be fucking ashamed of yourselves.

  14. Another thing: If you want to make this site work, add lots of photos and troll actual people (fat girls, manginas, etc). Expect to get trolled heavily.
    You know how to do all of this, as you’ve done it on IMF in the past. But for a site like this, you’ll have to ramp it up 10x.

  15. Fathletica, at 5´2 and 200lbs I find it difficult to believe that it is possible for you to jog let alone swim or ride a bike.

  16. lol then you don’t see me busting my ass at the gym 5x per week, twice a day sometimes. believe it or not a lot of fat people run and do triathlons. i am by far not the only one. if you were a triathlete/runner you would know that there are usually a few fat people at every race. it’s not uncommon. i suggest you go attend a couple of races and educate yourself. but hey, being an ignorant asswipe is a lot more fun, right?

  17. Brother Abdul, you have shaken the infidels to their core, their seething rage will consume them and leave our world cleansed! Go with God with my friend.

  18. You can’t swim through gravy at all, much less swim the distance that you claim. It’s easy to ride any distance in an electric wheelchar, and jogging to the front of the buffet line hardly counts as a run.

    I am not too worried about having a fat daughter, or a fat wife. When low-fat sharia law comes to my part of the world, the punishment for being wider than you are tall will be death by stoning. Allahu akbar, God is great.

    PS Gym is not a synonym for McDonalds. You are welcome.

  19. Fat chicks don’t compete to become more and more uglier and fatter everyday. They like to fart all day long and devour KFCs and Mcdonalds with Choclate Chip Cookies. One of the 7 sins is OBESITY. God shall punish people who are fat and don’t want to lose weight.

  20. Fathletica, I believe what your trying to rationalize is: when you say “run” you really mean “roll”: when you say “swim” you really mean “Float”, everyone knows fat displaces water: when you say “ride” what you really mean is “ridden” like when you´re pulling the hay wagon.

  21. Haha, I didn’t think this many fatties would be wounded by my cruel words. Many inFATdels will be crying themselves to sleep tonight. Their tears nourish me. Onward, my brothers, to victory!

  22. “believe it or not a lot of fat people run and do triathlons”

    Verily doest this make me question the triathalon training as an effective means of achieving ideal body weight. The prophet, peace be with him, says you are full of blubber.

  23. By the musk of the she man thing that waddles through triathlons, I swear my allegiance to Mohamed V and the cause. I will hunt the infatidels in their supermarkets and disrupt thier two shopping cart long supply chain. I swear to impede thier transportation by disabling thier fatty scooters at Walmart. Scorn and derision will will cascade upon them, like their fantastic bowel movements cascade through the sewage pipes. Thier visual

  24. Peace be unto you my brothers. My previous post was interrupted by Fatland Security. I tossed a donut as a diversion and easily escaped. God is great.

  25. fat=bad. you can do a lot of mental gymnastics so that you dont have to face the reality that youre a gross-looking slob(no matter what kind of races you participate in), but it doesnt change the fact that I have to look at you people every day and it strains my eyes. Think of someone other than your flabby selves for a change and lose some weight so the beautiful people dont have to look at you.

  26. I can only conclude that for you poor jihaders, some fat girl in your history rejected you. You wanted so badly to snuggle into her bountiful flesh, to feel her warmth surrounding you, her feminine softness comforting you, but she saw the evil in your eyes and knew she was too good for you. And you hated it. You felt entitled to her affection and her body, and you couldn’t have it.

    Maybe it was your mother. Maybe it was that adorable chubby girl in 7th grade. Maybe it was the clever English major in your freshman year. She scarred you.

    You have my sympathy. Unfortunately, until you get the therapy you need to overcome her rejection and accept your desire for fat women everywhere, which you deny desperately to cover up the gaping hole in your heart, you will never be worthy of a fat girl’s touch. Perhaps Allah gave you the hatred in your heart to protect the fat women from you. Praise Allah!

  27. Do not sully us with your lies, fat shaitan. There is no such thing as an adoreable chubby girl, nor are there such things as clever fat girls. If they were clever, they would get a clue and stop being fat.

    Your reverse psychology will not work on us. God is Great (though you may outweigh Him)

  28. If a fat bitch rejects someone she is 1). pretending she is not the one being rejected 2). an egomaniac.

    There are no clever English majors. If a person was clever, she would realize that all the great writers didn’t have English degrees (many didn’t even speak English) and get a real job, or at least major in something that wasn’t bullshit.

    Fat is way overrated. It doesn’t even keep you that warm.

    Also, as an ex-fattie, heavy compound lifts are more addicting than junk food. Once you begin NOT looking like a tub of lard, you want to improve your look. I know this, I once spent nearly half an hour admiring my abs.

  29. “God is Great (though you may outweigh Him)”. Your words are true, my brother, and as amusing as a fat girl walking on a treadmill. A salami a la bacon.

  30. Feminism means equal rights, doesn’t it?

    That means the equal right to be drafted, especially if you are a fat and useless person. Give back to society — take up this rifle, learn to shoot it and run five miles without keeling over, and we will send you to help win the macrowar against China and Russia.

    I imagine that boot camp will straighten out these entitled little feminists and their fat male brethren in no time. And, they will get to experience true equality — a 7.62x39mm exploding at their faces!

  31. NYE 2011, I’ll blow up the Mcdonald’s in 17th street Washington. fatties will die and new year will be celebrated.

  32. You have a duty to shame short little omega geeks. These bitter losers are just stinking up the internet with their childish bullshit. Why? Because they are poor idiot losers who are mad at the world because females won’t even notice these little insects and none of them have ever even made minimum wage of $50k at their crappy cubicle drone jobs. That’s why they’re always begging like dogs for money to run their stupid blogs. Imagine begging for something that culd only cost a few hundred a month-petty cash.

  33. I can only conclude that for you poor jihaders, some fat girl in your history rejected you

    These short little poor geeks have been rejected by every female including their mamas who got knocked up after drinking too much Ripple and got fucked by a midget. It’s easy to see why they’re bitter and mad at the world.

  34. Your words are true, my brother, and as amusing as a fat girl walking on a treadmill. A salami a la bacon.

    But not quite as amusing as a bunch of pint sized geeks dressing up in Batman costumes and playing Twister with each other on a Saturday night and complaining that females won’t go out with them. Kid computer games and the comic book store are their future.

  35. Guys line up at the bar wanting to fuck me. Why would I lose a pound! I get to eat all I want, whenever I want, and I still get laid!! @Full-bodied “beauty”

    Yeah – so what’s the great “accomplishment” here – that you’re not only a cheap whore, but a fat cheap whore at that…?

    Remember: A WOMAN PROUD OF GETTING LAID IS LIKE AN ALCOHOLIC PROUD OF GETTING DRUNK

    *or, in your case, a gluttinous prole-y slob ‘proud’ of eating herself sick.

    Loser.

  36. Fatties refuse to acknowledge reality and have no common sense. Fat women is a cultural problem encouraged by disfunctional american culture. And there is a solution which is to push the culture the other direction. That is what we are doing on this blog. Doing our part to push the culture back to normal. We’re not doing it just for our own selfish reasons; its for you fatties, and the children, etc. So stop being unhealthy, lazy, fat shits and we won’t have to do this!

  37. Pingback: My First Post at Fat Girl Jihad is Up: “You Have a Holy Duty to Make Fat Girls Cry”

  38. “Every day I feel like Captain Ahab, surrounded by all these white whales”

    You must live in some lower class area because there are no fatties where I live. Is everyone on here some poor stupid loser?

  39. Poor, short, little nerds in their cheap Sears clothes who can’t get laid and are too stupid to make any money. This is what happens to the Net when dirt cheap pc’s became available and the internet is like 50 bucks a month.
    I’d like to see pc’s sold for a minimum of $10k and internet at $500 a month. It would keep all of this poor trash away from we normal people. No one cares to listen to the moronic ramblings of some poor losers who are mad at the world because their trailer park trash mama fucked a midget and they grew up to be a whopping 5’4″ lol Short, poor and geeky gets you no pussy. It’s almost as bad as being a spook.

  40. Pingback: Have A Miserable Christmas, InFATdels! | Fat Girl Jihad

  41. Haha, hilarious. This page is very thinspirational for me! Now of course, I want everyone to be healthy, happy and whole. No harm to anyone. Have a wonderful holiday everyone.

  42. Pingback: Sanctimonious Liberal Atheists Say the Darndest Things!

  43. This is trite, poorly written, and vaguely nonsensical. Past that I find myself with no fucks to give.

  44. As trolling goes, a solid B. A little long on effort and short on vitriol for my tastes, plus, it’s always better to bring the fight to your audience than sit back and hope to be noticed. Still, pretty solid, likely caused some misplaced outrage, so. Cheers.

  45. While I agree that fat people should be ashamed of themselves, your attempt at making the point is ill-written and sophomoric. I suggest you take a basic English course before you post your opinions for the world to see.

  46. The holocaust never happened. You think fat people are stupid and lie alot lol ? Maybe so, but jews are professnal victims. Keep taking shit online because in real life you will get shredded because your ancesters constant inbreeding to preserve the jew race made you weak. I love you, tho

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