Allahu akbar, my femininity-loving brothers.
As you all know, the reason why the plague of obesity and boorishness that afflicts American women even exists is because fat girls simply aren’t shamed enough. Every day I feel like Captain Ahab, surrounded by all these white whales. They tell me that “big is beautiful” and that they’d “rather be happy than skinny.” I try and explain to them that all the fat girls I’ve ever known were as happy as stroke victims (which is how a great many of them will end up in a few years), but I can only stand being within five feet of a fatty for so long before the sweat and smegma stench makes me retch. Point being that there’s not enough people kicking these butterballs in their exponentially expanding asses and embarrassing them into thinness.
But to hear the fatties say it, the occasional barb of cruelty they have to endure is just too much for them to bear. They have the chutzpah to claim that fat people are already harassed enough! Don’t believe me? See this pouty blog post:
Newsflash dude – there is not a fat person in this culture who hasn’t heard this before. There are very few fat people who haven’t heard it in the last two hours. We know what you think of us. We are all too aware that you let your assumptions run wild and then treat us like your assumptions are true. We are aware that you think “Fat bad, thin good, shame the fatties grunt grunt grunt”. We hear this message about 386,170 times every year. I’ve been fat for 17 years, which means I’ve heard it around 6,564,890 times. How can you possibly think that hearing it 6,564,891 times is going to improve my life? Are you also planning to win a land war in Russia? Being 6,564,891 does not make you special or brave, it makes you one more doody in a big pile of crap.
Fatsos get shamed 386,170 times a year? That’s a total lie, but it’s still a pretty scientific-sounding number and probably took our flatulent heroine some time to come up with. Time she COULD have spent losing the weight and NOT having to be shamed for being obese ever again! Instead, she spent that time adding up a meaningless number like an Aspie kid counting tiles in the linoleum floor at Price Chopper. At least the Aspie has an excuse for being retarded.
Maybe you aren’t aware of this because you aren’t fat so you don’t notice. Maybe you are aware and this is all an exercise to stroke your massive ego by being the person to save the fatty. Or maybe it just makes you feel good to treat people like crap. I don’t really care because bullying is inappropriate in any guise. If someone is interested in hearing your “tough” talk I’m sure you’ll be among the very first people to know and then let ‘er rip, otherwise how about you sit down and shut up.
Or maybe we find you disgusting and we want you to stop polluting our line of sight, and deporting your diabetic bulk to a village in Africa isn’t an option. The eternal narcissism of the fatso on display again. “Rather than conform to the values of my society, I’m going to stomp my foot and scream and DEMAND everyone accept my dysfunctional behavior! Waaaah!”
Or you could swim against the stream and treat fat people like the intelligent human beings we are- not like confused sheep who need your strong guidance – and encourage others to do the same. Let there be a fat person who only hears 386,169 messages about their body because you refused to pile on the shame and body hate. That’s brave.
So damn intelligent you fat fucks are — so smart, you’ve ensured that you’ll suffer the rest of your life with chronic health problems and social ostracism, all because you can’t go on a diet and pick up a pair of barbells.
There. I hope that made you cry. Go stuff your face in a pint of Cherry Garcia, lardlog.
This is a reminder, my brothers — every day, you must go out of your way to make fat girls miserable and unhappy. Remind them that they’re ugly, that they’re going to die young, that you’d rather fuck a goat than accept a blowjob from one of them. If you haven’t made at least one fat girl a day squirt tears of unfathomable sadness, you have failed in your duty to God. Your quest for more beautiful, submissive American women begins today.