War on FAT

From the Free Dictionary:

  1. Synonyms: fat, obese, corpulent, fleshy, portly, stout, pudgy, rotund, plump1, chubby
  2. Fat implies excessive weight and generally has negative connotations: was getting fat and decided to exercise.

So now that we have an adequate definition to work with, let’s start by looking at the negative connotations and why they’re warranted.

First of all, no matter how cute you think your face is, if you’re fat, you’re not cute. Fat and cute are mutually exclusive. If you’re fat, and a guy thinks that you’re cute, he thinks you’re cute in the same way that he thinks a baby piglet is cute. He doesn’t want to date, fuck or marry the piglet. Unless he’s really drunk, in a bad dry spell, there are NO other women available, or he has issues. Or all of the above. In other words, if you’re fat, obese, corpulent, fleshy, portly, stout, pudgy, rotund, plump, or chubby, you’re unattractive.

Secondly, if you’re fat, you’re not healthy, probably aren’t very flexible, and are a pain in the ass to have sex with, or do much else with for that matter. If a guy has to search for your vagina to have sex with you, you’re fat. If a guy is willing to search for your vagina in order to have sex with you, he’s got issues. If he’s willing to be crushed by you while you get atop him to ride with you, he’s got issues.

Thirdly, if you’re fat, it says a lot about the kind of person you are, in a negative way. Sure, your parents and family might be willing to look past the extra folds, the constant eating of nothing but Micky D’s, the extra large muffin top and bottom, but no self-respecting man can do this. If you don’t give a shit about your health and how you look, it means you’re not worthy of the time and respect of a real man. Deep down, this is how you feel, so this is how you treat yourself. You have no one but yourself to blame for this. No one is going to lose the weight for you. If you’re unwilling to put forth any effort to get in shape and watch what you eat, there’s something wrong with you. I won’t proclaim to know what is wrong with you specifically, but there’s something wrong. Trust me. Stop rationalizing and pretending that fat is in or that it’s okay to be obese. It’s not. When they have to get a piano box to bury you, it’s not okay. When you can’t fit into a standard airplane seat, it’s not okay. And it’s not attractive. Not at all. Never.

If you’re fat, what is it about you that makes you think you’re so special that you needn’t put in the extra effort to lose weight? Most of your reasons excuses for not getting in shape are just you telling yourself that you’re okay the way you are. You’re not. Being fat only makes you feel worse about yourself. You eat more, you feel sorry for yourself, then you feel bad, then you eat more. Repeat. Repeat. And yet somehow in there, you’re deluding yourself into thinking that this is okay? That you’re special somehow. It’s messed up. If you’d realize that you are not a special snowflake and that you really need to put in some effort to get in shape, you’d be better off.

And here’s a secret: If you’d get off your ass and exercise, watch what you eat and take a little bit of pride in your health, appearance, and body, you’d not only be happier, more men will take an interest in you. Or women, if that’s your thing.

Remember, if he’s really into you, and you’re fat, there’s something wrong with him. Even if he’s fat himself. Especially then.

Praise Allah and death to fatness.

Sea Life At The Beach

My brothers!  Allahu Akbar, God be praised!  Today, we have won a victory against the fat satan!  I have found an American man—one named Shawn—who is sick of the ugly, mammoth women in this country!

It happened that Shawn and I were sitting on a beach when suddenly we spotted a beached whale!

Shawn saw the beast, and with the Fear of God he preached to the woman:

“Bitch! You better put on a burqa before we stone your ass!”


What a proud day for us, brothers, when Western Men begin to take our side! Allahu Akbar, God be praised!

It is He Who produceth gardens, with trellises and without, and dates, and tilth with produce of all kinds, and olives and pomegranates, similar (in kind) and different (in variety): eat of their fruit in their season, but render the dues that are proper on the day that the harvest is gathered. But waste not by excess: for Allah loveth not the wasters.
( سورة الأنعام , Al-Anaam, Chapter 6, Verse 141).