Have A Miserable Christmas, InFATdels!

Being a devout Muslim, I do not celebrate heathen holidays like Christmas. Nonetheless, as a man of good taste, I enjoy music from all corners of the globe… except when fat girls are singing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMZiR1fIfGU

A heffalump lies in on a tacky couch like a cow on the slaughterhouse conveyor belt, wobbling her stomach rolls as if she were a stripper working the pole. God strike me down now. Her singing talent is perfectly matched to her physical fitness — she’s off-key, can’t stay in time, and can’t carry a tune to save her inFATdel life.

Remembering my holy duty, I left this comment on the video under the handle “Betawulf”:

LMAO at this oinker, let’s play Spot the Cliches:

Endless stomach rolls
Cellulite-ridden thighs
Pasty skin
Shapeless face
Thin lips
Dorky glasses
Unwarranted self-importance
Horrible off-key singing

All you’re missing is a plate of donuts to snack on.

As of this writing, she has yet to approve my truthful words. Her fat girl ego must be crushed. This is a perfect opportunity, my brothers — swarm BBW Little Lin’s video and downvote her into oblivion. Bring God’s wrath upon the blasphemers!

“Make Sure It’s Corpulated”

I swear to Almighty Allah that this woman is the human incarnation of Shaytan (for you infidels, Shaytan is the Muslim Satan).

Only Shaytan can digest that ungodly creation without retching it from its corpulent bowels. If you, American woman, try to replicate her recipe (and I know many of you have because it has 800,000 infidel views and counting), you better believe that God will not so kindly bring it up during the Day of Judgment.

Now let’s purify ourselves with a verse from the Qur’an:

“The male shall have the equal of the portion of two females” (4:11)

There is no way the Prophet could have predicted, with all his infinite wisdom, that one day a single woman would have the girth of two.